East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
