Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
