glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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