so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
