I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
