Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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