drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
