So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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