As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
