We won't sleep together?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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