Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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