does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
