can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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