My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
