I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
