I bet he comes in French.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize