I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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