Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
