if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
