I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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