I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
