i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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