Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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