apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
