I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
