Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
