y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
