i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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