I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
