HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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