So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
