Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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