he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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