I love black thongs
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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