I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize