Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
