He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
