Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
