Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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