You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
