Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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