We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
