This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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