I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
