and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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