the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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