I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
