Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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