TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
