I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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