come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
