One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize