found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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