i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
whose parrot is this?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
