vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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