Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What a dumb baby whore.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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