? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
