I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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