I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
