i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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