AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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