gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
where are my eyebrows?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize