If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
