I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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