so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
