you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
